Frequently Asked Questions

 

 

Separation Services -Advice & Support and Mediation

 

Will the mediator persuade us to get back together? 

No. Mediation is for people whose relationship is over and who feel they would like some help in making decisions about arrangements for their children. People who would like to try to repair their relationship can be offered Relationship Counselling with one of our Counsellors.
 
Will the mediator make a decision on what we should do? 

Decisions are for you as clients to make, but the mediator will help you do this by helping you identify and discuss the issues which are important for each of you.
 
Will we be left in a room together? 

You will never be left alone. The safety of clients and mediators is taken very seriously. Mediators understand that these sessions can be stressful, particularly if clients haven’t met each other for some time, and separate arrival and departure times can also be arranged.
 
My ‘ex’ has a new partner. Will they be coming along? 

Mediation is principally for parents however, in some circumstances other people closely involved with your children e.g. grandparents and step-parents may become involved.
 
Can I bring my children to meetings?

No, unless it has been agreed by everyone involved that they have to be consulted. You have to be able to speak freely and so we feel that it isn’t appropriate for children to be present. Children can also be disruptive and divert your attention, as well as that of the mediator. If you explain your child care arrangements to us we will try our best to offer you appointments to suit. If you arrive with children, your meeting will be postponed until a later date.
 
What about my children’s views?

Parents and other family members who the child trusts, are often the best people to ascertain children’s views. However, we do operate a Hearing Children’s Views service. Which your mediator can discuss in depth with you.
 
Can we discuss financial or property matters? 

At Family Mediation Borders we focus on making arrangements for children, but we can refer you to another service which deals with financial and property issues.
 
Is there a long waiting list? 

There are exceptions, for example during holiday times, but you can usually get an appointment within two weeks.
 
Will the mediator I see be properly qualified? 

All mediators are fully qualified professional family mediation practitioners. They are registered with Family Mediation Scotland and members of the UK College of Family Mediators.
 
How much does it cost?

This service is free. However, contributions, no matter how small, are always welcome.
 


Separation Services –Help for Children


 
Is there a long waiting list? 

There are exceptions, for example during holiday times, but you can usually get an initial appointment within two weeks.
 
Will the person who sees my children be properly qualified? 

We only use fully qualified professional family mediation practitioners who are Disclosure checked and Registered with Family Mediation Scotland and the UK College of Family Mediators. These people have a wealth of experience helping separated families and have been specifically trained to speak with children.
 
How much does it cost?

This service is free. However, contributions, no matter how small, are always welcome.

 


Separation Services –Supported Family Contact


Is there a long waiting list? 

There are important procedures that we need to follow to ensure your child’s safety and that of other children, as well as undertaking preparations to make the time your family spends at the Centres as comfortable and straightforward as possible. We recognise that often children and other visiting family members would like contact to begin as soon as possible and we do our utmost to make arrangements for you as quickly as we can. You can normally expect contact to be offered within two weeks of Advice & Support sessions being completed.
 
Can I bring someone with me?

Generally no. However, with advance notice and if everyone agrees, including the duty Contact Centre Organiser (CCO), sometimes we can allow extra visitors to attend the Centre and meet with the child. If you turn up at the Centre with  someone we were not expecting, they will not be admitted.
 
Can I bring presents for the child?

It is always better to get agreement in advance so we advise you to call us a few days before the Contact. However, if you arrive with a gift, you can ask the duty CCO to put your request to the resident parent.
 
Can I take photographs and videos?

Videos or sound recordings are not permitted but photographs, using a regular camera are allowed. You must be careful not to include any other children in photos you take. If staff suspect that this has happened they will ask you to destroy the film or delete the digital image. You can not use mobile phones to take photos as these must be switched off while you are in the Centre. Contact Centre staff will not take photos for you.
 
Will anyone write reports about the contact?

Family mediation staff do not provide reports of Supported Contact to anyone else. However, we can admit Social Work staff or Court Reporters, if a report is required. However, that would not happen without your knowledge. If you feel that it is important that Reports are provided to the courts or Social Work, then you may wish to consider our Supervised Contact Service.
 
How much does it cost?

This service is free. However, contributions, no matter how small, are always welcome.
 

 


Counselling Services –Relationship Counselling

 

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Counselling Services –Psychosexual Therapy

 

under construction